Attack of the Killer Percussionists
by Allyssa Cordell
Summary: PG for violence...what happens when you have too many slimebag percs that think too much of themselves--Ch 5 up!!
1. Characters

ATTACK OF THE KILLER PERCUSSIONISTS  
  
...BTW this never actually happened but includes people (under changed names of course, at least most of them) that actually exist that I know...so if anything sounds really familiar...maybe we're from the same school...or maybe percussionists (and other band members of course) are really the same everywhere...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Characters....  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
Percussionists (bad guys)  
  
Mr. E---Perc instructor, Nazi leader, head of all EVIL-doing  
  
Lissa--not actually evil but never leaves the band room, i think she lives there. also i think her hands have fused to her marimba mallets  
  
Ricky--Evil? maybe...but his older brother was a tenor sax so he's probably safe. Bass drum. the big one.  
  
Mike--EVIL don't doubt me, he's definatley in line with Mr. E-defying him at every turn but in line with him nevertheless. and upset because he has to play with...a freshman and a girl. Tenor drums of course.  
  
Fred--EVIL to the core...and don't ever call him Freddy...if you want to live that is...if you've got a death wish then sure...I hate this kid. short prissy and he's got major attitude problems. Snare. but pissed because he wasn't good enough for the tenors.  
  
Barbara--not strictly evil, but she's friends with Nick S (alto sax) and is probably ripping off his plans for world domination...and she could do it because she's a sweet little girly-girl (a good diversionary tactic) and plays next to Mike who has major power. You got it, tenors  
  
Tim--wouldn't be EVIL but is influenced by Mike who holds him as his slave...after awhile he serves him voluntarily and is his perfect little stooge. so definatley in Mr. E's army of evilness.  
  
Other not so major perc.ists-  
  
snares-Moe, Andy T,   
  
basses-Tara P, Ray, Leon, Morgan  
  
pitters-Katie, Addy O, Lora,   
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
GOOD GUYS (finally...)  
  
Mr. B---senior BD, head honcho, top of the hill, the buck stops here, God,...but a little scatterbrained in a creative genius way. Composes his own music and often arranges it for MB shows.  
  
Mrs. W---Lord help us all...Assistant band director and may the day never come when she's full director...obsessed with the clarinets (not that that would be so bad if she could actually play it worth anything)  
  
Field Commanders  
  
Andy S--Cut up, loves attention, but can be serious...no, really! has a little bro in the trumpets  
  
Beth--kinda like Andy, but more serious more often. higher in seniority than him after all. has a sis in the mellophones  
  
[both FC's also play the baritone in CB]  
  
winds (yay!)  
  
Nick S--good guy? i guess i have to put him here. Against the perc for sure. that's a plus. Definate plans with his little apprentice for world domination. alto sax  
  
Adam--Nick's appentice. again with the questionable good guy staus, but again against perc...that's something at least. alto sax  
  
Meghan--senior, best in her section...but that doesn't make her stuck up. a nice person...yay! one for our side! alto sax  
  
Zeb--exactly what he sounds like...a bit strange, but he's a good musician and a section leader in the...trumpets  
  
Me--I had to turn up sooner or later didn't I? clarinet of course  
  
Annabella--head honcha in the clars. senior, 1st chair, recognized leader...clarinet of course  
  
Marcia--cut-up, b*tch, thinks she's all that but, god, i hate her. clarinet, unfortunatly  
  
Tara S--way too peppy, I have a problem with little girls with silver sticks...but anyone against the perc. is an ally of mine...piccolo  
  
Conner--great guy, even if he is a FB player. will probably inherit the school when Nick S graduates. trombone  
  
George--what else to say but TUBA??  
  
Kris--AHHH! my stalker. flute  
  
Eliza--hard core leader in the flag corps...clar in CB  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
wow that took up more space than i hoped...  
  
next chapter for some actual story?  
  
I hope I didn't leave out any sections...  
  
if I did please tell me...I can always add more...  
  
if I offended you don't be afraid to send flames...  
  
I like fire...play with fire!!!  
  
you probably shouldn't let me do that...  
  
but seriously, these aren't meant to be you...  
  
unless you're from my school...in which case???  
  
please R&R 


	2. trip to nowhere and perc plans

Again, please remember, this never actually happened.....  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
It was just a normal Friday afternoon...nobody ever suspected that by the end of the day the band would be in all out war...  
  
We were arranged on our practice field, going over our pre-game show once more before the first home game of the season. We marched off the edge of our field in the exit at the end, and Mr. B stopped us.   
  
"Good. Now you have ten minutes to use the restroom and make sure you have everything before we march over to the field" he said  
  
"That's a *real* long trip" muttered Abby, a fellow clarinet.  
  
"Yeah," I replied, "We'll be leaving...on a trip to nowhere!"  
  
We went on our merry WW way to make sure we had music and anything else we needed.  
  
*meanwhile* the percs were still in formation until Moe rapped on his drum, dismissing them.  
  
---------------------  
  
Later, at the game...  
  
---------------------  
  
Tim stood whispering to Mike over by the side of the band stands (you know...where us band freaks sit).  
  
"I'm sure, master, I'm sure of it!"  
  
"So, the saxes are plotting against me again...I've dealt with them before, I can do it again" he answered his evil stooge.  
  
"But they've become more powerful since then...Nick has a new apprentice. You know they're more dangerous in groups."  
  
"Nevertheless, I will prevail. I will not be defeated. Third quarter. Depend on it"  
  
"Yes, master." Tim knew he couldn't argue.  
  
---  
  
"Barb...I need you to help me." Nick whispered. They were skulking in the shadows on the other side of the stands. "You have inside information, I know you can tell me."  
  
"If Mike finds out...he'll have my head."  
  
"But I *need* you. Does he know? Tim's been way too close to me the last few days...if he found out what I'm planning..."  
  
"He'll squeal. I know. But if Mike even catches me talking to you..."  
  
"He won't. He's too busy talking with Tim...oh, no. Look at him. He knows, doesn't he."  
  
"Probably. I'd watch out if I were you. Third quarter. I'd bet my life on it. If he knows..."  
  
"Thanks Barb. I'll be careful. Now don't be seen. Slip away, back to the rest of the percs."  
  
"I'll see you. Good luck with him."  
  
"Thanks"  
  
------------------------  
  
meanwhile, clars, flutes, and pics talk and giggle up a storm...relevant, no...but it's ME, I can't abandon ME.  
  
------------------------  
  
halftime show plays....  
  
------------------------  
  
short I know but the next one'll be longer I promise  
  
love it, hate it, I have the next chapter ready but won't post until I get reviewed.  
  
so REVIEW or you'll never see 3rd quarter...ever again...MUAHAHA 


	3. third quarter

---------------------------------  
  
THIRD QUARTER--SHOWTIME  
  
---------------------------------  
  
I wander off to the concession stand, digging money out of my pocket for my usual bottle of precious sugar-high giving mountain dew, when what else? Kris comes up behind me.   
  
"Oh, great, my stalker" I mutter to myself as she says, as usual:  
  
"Feel like you're being followed?"  
  
Oh she's so cutesy sweet you could just eat her up. Eat her up? Sounds like a good idea...mmm...fried freshman flute...  
  
"What do you want?" I ask. but of course she doesn't answer. hmph.  
  
Then down the path comes...ooo...my best friend in the world! NOT!  
  
Fred. Just what I needed to make my night complete.  
  
"You'd better watch out if you know what's good for you" he said. "Mike's out for blood"  
  
"Clarinet blood? I hardly think so. Saxes, my bet." I replied  
  
"A woodwind's a woodwind, that's what I say. Or any wind for that matter."  
  
"He won't mess with me. He scared stiff of Annabella." for an evil mastermind he had some weird fears...Annabella's not scary...It's the other section leader, Nita, you gotta watch out for.  
  
"He may be, but I know *I* wouldn't be afraid to kick some clarinet butt"  
  
"You try it...I've got powerful friends."  
  
"Ha. Yeah, well..."  
  
With that, he walked away.  
  
At least he scared Kris off. Huh, he is good for something after all.  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Nick and Adam were skulking (yes, again with the skulking...you'd think he was up to something) back behind the main bleachers, making quick plans for taking on the percs.  
  
"We don't have the weapons they do-those sticks are dangerous..." said Adam  
  
"But that's not the point, my apprentice. None of the winds like those stupid percs. What we don't have in weapons we can make up in shear numbers"  
  
"And the field commanders...they'll be with us right?"  
  
"Of course, Adam. No one hates the percs more than them. Mr. E...the dreaded Rill...picks on them like they're his responsibility. They will join us...they will join me in leading!"  
  
"We have to find them, though. Before Mike or Tim find us."  
  
"Don't worry. They will pass by here. I told them I'd need their help...Look-there they are."  
  
"Nick?" called Andy softly.   
  
"Shhh!" Nick hissed, and beckoned the FC's toward him. "I can't hide here forever...he will find me. I need your help."  
  
"Of course, anything to fight off the percs and upset Rill." answered Beth  
  
"Find my other loyals. Mine, and yours. Anyone who'll fight those stupid percs."  
  
"Got it" They told him, and hurried off.   
  
---------------------------------  
  
Mike had gathered up his own loyals. All had sticks shoved in their back pockets and were ready to whip them out should there be any sign of Nick or Adam. Barbara was with them, but only to make Mike think she was loyal. She was good at acting, and the evil tenor captain bought it.  
  
"Look, master!" called Tim. "There's a crowd gathering behind the bleachers-maybe Nick is among them!"  
  
"Of course! He tried to hide but it didn't work."  
  
"But why the crowd?" asked Fred  
  
"He's gathering an army!" exclaimed Tim.  
  
"But he couldn't have known...unless *someone* tipped him off..." Mike said glaring around his group.  
  
"[gulp]" said Fred.  
  
"You TOLD HIM!" yelled Mike.  
  
"no...no...i, um..."  
  
"LIAR!"  
  
"no, i just...might have mentioned it...to..."  
  
"TO WHO?"  
  
"...nicole..."  
  
"YOU IDIOT! YOU TOLD A LOYAL WOODWIND WE WERE AFTER ONE OF THEIR OWN!"  
  
"...um, yeah..."  
  
"It's all your fault you know." Mike was no longer yelling, his voice had gone chilly cold. Fred would rather he'd yelled. "If we lose...you will be blamed."  
  
"...yes master..."  
  
"Yes, you should be saying that. It's the only way to keep your life. Follow me. And sticks at the ready."  
  
----------------------------------  
  
camera shot from above....  
  
----------------------------------  
  
Almost 150 band freaks, winds and FC's against the percussionists led by Mike, mass together into two groups and surge toward one another.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
short internal shots, showing small pockets of action  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Winds take brutal beatings from drumsticks, but Field Commanders give several percs nice pokes with their conducting batons. Fred loses an eye. In all the confusion Barbara can and does fight on the side of right, giving Tim some good lumps on his head. He may never be able to think as clearly as before. Not that he ever thought that well to begin with...  
  
The commentator for the game sees this and decides it's much more interesting, and starts telling the crowd about the Battle of the Band. (yeah, it was a really slow game anyway...)  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
back near the band bleachers...  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
The commentator's announcements bring Mr. B back from whatever musical reverie he'd been in, and he sees his band split against each other. Grabbing Mrs. W and Mr. E he yells at them for not seeing it before. They run, all three of them, towards the wargrounds.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
come on, peeps, only one review? I know you can do better than that...  
  
you'll have to if you want to see the next chapter...but thanks Katie for being that one at least... 


	4. peace for now

thanks to my many (hem, hem...two...) reviewers for the wonderful feedback...  
  
perc mad hatter-mmm, death threats...but seriously, if your school had Mr E...your winds'd hate the percs too...and I'm glad to help your craving for percussion stories...  
  
katie-glad to hear from you again...it's good to know *someone* out there cares...and yeah, don't you just want to whack him upside his snooty head some days?...  
  
enough already, you're saying...yeah, yeah...here's the next chapter...  
  
Mr B. wasn't about to allow his band to tear itself apart...he had to stop them somehow. 'If they end up killing one another' he thought, 'then we'll *never* get that superior at state'  
  
as if he thinks about anything else  
  
But he had no idea how to stop the war.  
  
-----------------------  
  
But Rill knew. He ran over with his own sticks, raised Mrs. W onto his shoulders, and plunged into the battle. The sticks did no damage to his bulk, and when somebody got in his way he hit them with his own.  
  
Soon he was in the center of the fight. "Do your stuff" he said to Mrs. W.  
  
"STOP!" she yelled. Then she pretended to start crying. "I [sniff] can't believe you would [sob] *do* this to us." she wailed. ""how could you [sniff] ruin your chances for [sob] competition?"  
  
"Oh my gosh!" exclaimed Meghan. "I never thought...if we don't have percs we won't get such good points for them...we'll never get that superior at state."  
  
"that's my girl" muttered Mr. B.  
  
Soon the winds, FCs and percussionists were safely separated. For the time being, anyway.  
  
But don't think this is the end...the war rages on, as it will ever rage on.....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
BTW...Mrs W is known to burst into tears in her jr high chorus classes...maybe she's just faking to get them to actually listen to her and not screw around...bears thinking about....  
  
okee...so this is the last part I have written...and sorry it's so short...but to be honest I have no idea where I'm going from here...don't worry...it *will* continue...it just may take awhile...  
  
and while you're waiting...that's a lovely button down there...why don't you press it and let me know what you think of my story?... 


	5. practice, practice, practice

OK, so it's been a long time...but be happy now, I have another chappie up...and I said it'd be awhile, lol  
  
yeah, yeah...Rill is evil...he just knows that there are times for everything...and the first football game...puts them out of the running for competition, dunnit?  
  
------------  
  
the tension had been growing for months...Mr E and his band of way too work-happy percs had been practicing more than twice as much as the winds...but that was the *only* way he knew to get these wusses into the kind of performance they needed to get that one at state...yes, they had qualified...of course. They'd qualified at *every* contest...but they did that last year, too...and they still only got a two at state...so there was no telling...  
  
So they practiced...and practiced...and practiced...and practiced...and practiced...and...Okay, I guess you get the idea...they practiced a lot...us winds did too...the show this year was particularly hard. Mr B (who is a genius and should be worshipped as such) wrote the main piece, as per usual...it was called "Moonlight in Ohio"...the show was charted by Mr L (aka Chuck...long story...) who again, as usual, tried to make us march across half the field in 32 counts, but hey, you can do anything if you believe you can, right?...right? ah, hells.  
  
So we marched and we marched...we played and we played...and we watched them percs and Rill practice day and night...we loved them for being so good...loathed them for being so evil...such is the food for war...  
  
------------  
  
Me and Kris had been getting along no better lately...but what did you expect? Me to wake up one day and realize that what I *really* wanted for a best friend was a freshman flute whose only purpose in life was to be fried and eaten? Okee, kidding a bit...  
  
But seriously, now...story, yes!  
  
So me and Kris were walking along the drive outside the school (I may not particularly like her...but when you've got no good friends around...) near where the pitters were practicing. I found out that Lissa did leave the band room occasionally...but only to practice, go to football games, competitions, etc...what? You thought I was going to say classes?...ah, she's too smart already...besides, how could she write with those mallets in her hands?...  
  
yeah, yeah...I digress...The pitters were practicing...a bit to one side was the battery...Mike, Tim, and Barbara's arms a blur as they beat out complex patterns...Rill in between the two groups yelling "come on now, you call that playing?!?"   
  
"Yeah, and you could do better?" asked Fred...ooh, not a good idea...I knew that kid wasn't too bright...  
  
"You think I *couldn't* do better?!...I *wrote* your part!!" Mr E grabs Fred's sticks and bangs out the rhythm perfectly with all the perfect motions...holy cow he's good...good at what he does but *not* nice about it..."and *you* shouldn't do it any worse...you've been practicing it haven't you...*haven't you*?!?"  
  
"eep...yes...*yes* I've been practicing it!" Fred quickly gathered his wits..."Do you think I've just been faking it for however many hundreds of hours we've practiced this season? Of course not..."  
  
"you'd better not have been, or by golly I'll have your head on a pike in my front yard! If we don't get that superior this year it'll be all *your* fault!! Now start over! From the beginning..."  
  
--------------------  
  
as you can see tension was getting high...even without the wind/perc enmity.  
  
so we were in for big trouble, and soon...  
  
-------------------  
  
We were on the bus, on the way to state competition...three hours, plenty of time for madness to ensue...I, unfortunately had found the only empty seat left on the bus with ::shudder:: the percs...  
  
So I witnessed the happenings on the bus...that doesn't mean it was at all pleasant, and I now wish I hadn't had to be there...  
  
-------------------  
  
TBC....muahahahaha......yeah, yeah, but a partial chappie is better than none, and I've kept my fans waiting for so long already....reviews are appreciated... 


End file.
